Working with Money Protectors:
How to Deal with Money Emotions
and Redistribute Wealth
Do you procrastinate, avoid, or get overwhelmed when you try to deal with money? Do you feel ashamed, insecure, or indecisive when you try to change your investments or increase your giving?
If so, you are likely trapped by one of your money protectors.
Protectors are the voices inside of us that, despite their best intentions to protect, sabotage our lives. They tell us limiting, rigid, and sometimes harsh messages about who we are and what we are capable of. Shirzard Chamine, prominent life coach, defines protectors (or “saboteurs”) as: “[They] start off as our guardians to help us survive the real and imagined threats to our physical and emotional survival as children. By the time we are adults, we no longer need them, but they have become invisible inhabitants of our mind.”1
Here are some signs you are caught in the voice of a protector:
You hear “shoulds,” harshness, or self-criticism
You get stuck in repetitive thoughts
You procrastinate or avoid important tasks
You feel ashamed of who you are or fear that you are a bad person
You feel defeated, powerless, or hopeless
In general, we do not make grounded decisions when we are coming from a place of guilt, fear, or shame.
Here are some consequences of letting a money protector run your financial decisions:
Starting a budget, failing to see it through, and then feeling stuck in shame
Lying about your access to wealth and committing to the belief that others will reject you if they know about your access to wealth
Getting overwhelmed by different investing options and failing to take action
Keeping more money than you need out of scarcity and feeling ashamed and/or defensive about your decisions
Maintaining distance with family members because you’re too afraid to talk to them directly about your money vision
Confusing your own value as a person with anything that has to do with money
Instead, we can make better decisions and even enjoy engaging with money when we are able to come from a place of self-appreciation, gratitude, embodiment, and a confidence that we are deeply connected to others.
What are the most useful strategies for dealing with money protectors?
#1: Curiosity
Who is this protector? What are they protecting? What happens in my body when they are present? Which situations tend to trigger them?
#2: Name it to Tame it
Give the protector a name. This will make it easier to recognize it in the future and see it as separate from who you are. “Anxious Alex,” “The Martyr,” “Inner 6th Grader,” and “A+ Student” are some examples. It’s even better if the name can make you chuckle or soften into compassion.
#3: Compassion
Your protectors want to keep you safe. Rather than reject or resent this protector, respect that it has come into your life with good intentions, even if it no longer serves you. Your protector is not your enemy. Compassion will help soften your protectors.
#4: Needs and Risk Assessment
What are the underlying fears this protector has, and how can you speak to those concerns without getting trapped? Make a plan for what you would do if the worst-case scenario were to happen to demonstrate your own competence and resilience. Do you have unmet needs that your protector is revealing that you can address in more creative, values-aligned ways?
#5: Put Something on the Line
What is more valuable to you than staying safe and/or letting your protectors run your life? Tap into your vision for collective liberation and your deepest longings for the life you want to lead. Once you find something that matters more than experiencing discomfort, you will have more capacity to handle your money protectors.
#6: Take Action from a New Stance
Imagine this protector was not in your life. How would you feel, and how would you approach a particular situation differently? Decide to take action from a non-protector state, even if it feels foreign at first. This will deepen your confidence that you can make good decisions without your protectors.
Your protectors are like an alarm system to alert you when you’re outside of your comfort zone, so when you take courageous action regarding money, your protectors will likely get louder. Fear not! It’s a sign that you are moving toward transformation.
Fortunately, money coaching will help you gain the confidence, skills, and support needed to deal with your money protectors.
In the Walk the Money Talk Cohort, you will get support in transforming your relationship with your money protectors:
With the support of a compassionate, values-aligned community, expose your own protectors and witness the protectors of others. Learn how to mobilize family members and loved ones toward your money vision without letting protectors interfere.
Get to know your money protectors and learn how to distinguish when you are in a protector-led state, as opposed to when you are grounded, and track your protectors in your money workbook.
In your three 1:1 coaching calls with me, get more individualized support in addressing your specific money protectors.
Set goals rooted from a grounded, non-protector space. Take courageous action to align your money with your values so you can manifest your deepest desires for yourself and for collective liberation without your protectors interfering.
Join me for the October Walk the Money Talk Cohort to learn more about money protectors and to move forward on a money path that is rooted in your deepest values and longings for the world. You can read more about the cohort here or apply here.
The deadline to apply is now September 1st.
1 Shirzad Chamine, “How You Self Sabotage,” PositiveIntelligence.com, https://www.positiveintelligence.com/assessments/